DrPow's Top Ten Live Poker Pet Peeves

We all have certain things regarding live poker that annoy us and frustrate us to no end. Here is my top ten. Feel free to add more to the list, I know you have them!

Number 10: Bad BadBeat Stories

Anyone who has spent a decent amount of time on the felt hates to hear bad beat stories. But what I hate even more, is BAD badbeat stories. The ones that some retard goes on and on at the table about how he called an allin preflop late in a tournament with pocket 2's, only to spike a 2 on his opponents aces, and have the guy catch an Ace on the river. And of course he is speaking loud enough for even the houseman to hear him. No one cares, so give me your money and go reload.

Number 9: Wrongly used Words/Phrases

I am a firm believer that if you dont know anything about the current topic of conversation, you dont try and be smart and talk about something you dont know! These are the people that have played only enough at the table to over hear people saying phrases like 'pot odds', and 'the math says I have to call' etc. But then they go and use these phrases without any comprehension of what they actaully mean! I remember a guy saying to me once, 'i have pot odds, i have to call'...When it was HU preflop after i reraised his small raise all in for my stack, with KK. He was getting like 1.2:1 He calls with the hammer....

Number 8: The Unwarranted Table Tap

This is something that is grossly overused. In a long session of 10+ hours, I might see something Tap-worthy once, maybe twice. Some people tap the table after everytime the pot is won, or when they are forced to fold. This is rediculous! Once, I was in a hand with a guy who Tapped himself!!! I mean, I could maybe see it if I folded on the river, and that was his way to tell me that I had made a good fold. However, in this hand, I bet the river, he raised, and I called....He won the pot, and then as he was pulling in his chips, looked up at me and tapped the table?!?! I say "did you just tap yourself?!?!" At which point he got red and realized that he didnt know what the table tap meant.

Number 7: Storytime/Announcer Dealers

You are there to deal, that is your job. Not try and entertain the table with stupid anecdotes from your personal lives. This is especially a problem where I play, as it is a small core of regular players, so you do get to know the dealers somewhat. I dont mind the dealers that can have a conversation with the table and still keep up their regular hand per hour rate. But when Im losing hands per hour, so you can have more fun at your job...Bullshit! And this means dont announce at the table either. Im not here to hear your opinions on how the hand in progress is being played. "you called with that?","Why did you raise?" Keep it to yourself, and do your job, which is DEALING.

Number 6: SHIP IT!

I think that using this phrase should get you an immediate time penalty. It is completely disrespectful of the losing player. You won the pot, probably on a suckout, so just take your money and shut the fuck up!!!

Number 5: Sunglasses

This is something that I will never understand at low limit poker. Why? They are called SUNglasses for a reason, no sun? no sunglasses!!! If you are dumb enough to think that people at a 1/2 table are smart enough to read your eye twitches, then save your money and stay home. I mean, ok, if youre at a table with Negreanu, hide your eyes. But when youre at a table with 2 business owners, 3 farmers, and 4 kids that play .50/1 online and think they are online wizards....leave your glasses at home! I instantly target the fools in glasses cause it tells me that they are unconfident at the table, and need to hide behind some fake $4 Oakleys they bought in Mexico.

Number 4: Loud Cheering

To me, this is another one of those disrespectful things you can do at the table. Unless you just won the WSOP Main Event, nothing more than a quit "pow" and fist pump are nessasary. Whats even worse is when they get it in with the worst of it, hit that miracle river card, and get off their chair and start screaming and yelling like a downsyndrome kid with terrets. Come on people, respect the handicapped.

Number 3: Slowwwww Players

Im not talking about typical slowplaying...which could be a pet peeve of mine too, but I am talking about the players that take WAY too much time to think about a simple decision. I mean every decision preflop is not a life and death situation. Or the players that have read in a book to wait until the action is to them to look at their hole cards, in order not to give any information away. This just slows down the game! Like ive said before, hardly anyone at low levels will know what to make of your facial expression when you look at your cards. Im not talking about tough decisions after getting check-raised or anything like that. Im talking preflop. Its easy, you only have three options, fold, call, or raise. If every hand can make you ponder for 10 seconds, what do you do in life with a real dilemma like what to eat for dinner???

Number 2: Aquarium Tappers

Its one thing to think you are better than everyone else at the table, its another to let them know it. I CAN NOT stand when after a makes a terrible play, some egotistical idiot berates them for making that play. Why scare someone into making a better decision next time?!?!? Winning players make money off bad decisions. Plain and simple. Why someone would willingly lower their hourly rate is beyond me. Let the fish be fish! DONT TAP THE AQUARIUM!!!


And finally my biggest pet peeve of them all....

Number 1: The FFSSHHSHHclickclickFFHHSHHclick Sound the Pop Machine makes when its out of pop.

The title says it all. At all the rooms that I have played in, they offer free self-serve pop. And since I dont drink booze while playing, I drink alot of pop. Diet Pepsi is my drug of choice. Nothing, I mean NOTHING pisses me off more in a poker room as much as when when I lose access to the love of my life that is DP. This is serious business guys, It rattles me.

DrPow.

ADDON: Number 0: "One Time!"

This is said soooo much, especially on tv. IT IS A LIE! No one means One Time, they mean EVERYTIME!!! By saying '1 time' they are saying that if they win this hand, they dont mind losing the next race. Give me a break people. Ugh.

Great post.
I'll leave it to you to spin comically if you wish to as an add on, but what I absolutely despise is players who've already mucked reacting to a flop or draw card. It pisses me off so much.
When the flop comes 993 and a player grunts or does some other stupid dance, I mean obviously he had a 9 or a couple 3's right?

Great post !

I have a pet peeve of players who receive massages from the old bald guy at the tables. This tends to bother me more than it should... I just despise sitting besides dudes as it is and adding another dude to the mix that is making the guy beside me moan, like come'on.

Also, who wants to have to watch this and it completely slows down the game.

People who smell bad, or have disgusting table manners when they eat.

Originally Posted by Barton

People who smell bad, or have disgusting table manners when they eat.

LOL or people who eat with there hands while playing, could you do anything more unsanitary?

Maybe it's cause mommy always yelled at me as a kid when I did it, but I find it really disgusting when people chew with their mouths wide open, and smack their lips.

I also get annoyed by the "hollywood laydown" you bet the river and they hem and haw, stare you down then muck. You know they had pure crap they just want to make it look like they made the big laydown.

Dr.Pow: He won the pot, and then as he was pulling in his chips, looked up at me and tapped the table?!?! I say "did you just tap yourself?!?!" At which point he got red and realized that he didnt know what the table tap meant.

Hilarious...

What I love is how the richest players in the World seem to hang out at 3/6.
I remember a few years back getting pitched on so many HYIP programs and all these players bragging about doubling there money each month etc.